Loss of sexual desire is a concern many women talk to me about. At the same time, stellar sex is something we women probably don’t value enough. We become parents, we get older, we go through a divorce or breakup, we get a new job—or all of the above. There are many, many reasons that sex can take a backseat in our lives—but it doesn’t have to be this way. Want to get some spice back in your bedroom for Valentine’s Day? Hone in on your hormones. Your body’s chemical balance is usually at the root of low libido, but thankfully imbalances can be caused—and solved—by many things. While it’s a good idea to do a regular hormone check with your doctor, that won’t be a fast enough remedy for romance this holiday. Fortunately, there are several steps you can take to liven up your libido now.
How do my hormones affect my sexual drive?
First of all, a quick review: The sex hormones, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone for women, and testosterone and DHEA have been signaling reproductive cycles since long before we evolved into an upright species. Today, however, we have the luxury of enjoying an intimate sexual life far beyond the confines of creating children, but your biological body hasn’t necessarily gotten the message. Even in the most balanced and optimal state, as you age your hormones begin to change and fluctuate. Pregnancy, post-pregnancy, menstrual cycles, perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause all influence a woman’s sex hormones—we females don’t get a lot of rest in this department—it’s just a part of our lives. Women, and men too, have hormones that fluctuate due to various life stages, stressors, lack of sleep, and so on. These don’t necessarily have to be the sex hormones. Your body chemistry is complex and unique, and any hormone or gland imbalance in your body can set off a domino effect that can have you feeling less than frisky for multiple reasons.
What’s the fastest way to get in the mood?
Let’s get to the point. You want to get in the mood fast? Remember, what turns on one person, might not light another’s fire—so know your partner and yourself. And “fast” is a relative term depending on your gender. Men tend to respond quickly to physical advances, women, not so much. That said, here are my favorite tricks and tips for an evening of loving with your special person:
Mood Magic: Date nights and surprise gifts? Sure. Kissing and snuggling? Okay. Taking out the trash and picking up your socks? Definitely! Don’t forget the foreplay fellas—and ladies too. For your night of romance, be sure to set aside any pet peeves. Get that babysitter, reserve a romantic hotel suite, and shut the outside world out. Distractions of daily life can be one of the fastest ways to fizzle out your mojo, so make a peace pact with your partner for this one special night. Don’t be surprised if taking one night for love leads to another—and another. Your actions can influence your feelings, and vice versa.
Light up your libido. Deep, dark maroon colors may be too heat inducing and stimulating for 24/7 display in your bedroom, but a luscious burgundy velvet throw or comforter and hello! Ditto for wine-colored candles and red roses. You can add some matching lingerie for a hard-to-miss red-hot signal to your spouse or mate that says you are in the mood.
Smell the romance: Scents including cinnamon, bergamot, cedarwood, chocolate, rose, patchouli, ylang ylang, and sandalwood are all aromas that can make you feel warm and cozy. Research on aromatherapy shows that it can calm, balance, and enhance your moods.
Eat for love: Chocolate, red wine and oysters? Are these true aphrodisiacs? Antioxidants, polyphenols and Omega-3 are probably the real key ingredients here, but don’t underestimate the power of suggestion. These foods can be especially influential if you and your partner associate them with love and sex.
Balance Your Hormones: Unbalanced hormones can throw off your chemistry, impeding and slowing down your ability to get in the mood. If you’re looking to achieve hormone balance, I’ve created Hormone Helper and use with thousands of my patients. Here are just some of the benefits:
- Maca root: This can naturally aid in a myriad of hormone issues from PMS to hot flashes.
- Myoinositol: Studies have shown this can help with lowering high testosterone levels and choline to promote healthy thyroid balance and more.
Get my Hormone Helper here.