Women Are Done Being Dismissed in Healthcare: Gaslighting Woes
The medical community as a whole hasn’t always taken women’s health issues seriously—and many would argue that women’s complaints of pain and other symptoms are still often downplayed, dismissed, or outright ignored. In the therapy world, this is known as gaslighting, and it’s actually a type of emotional abuse. But this discrepancy is finally getting the attention it deserves, and more female patients are speaking up about their chronic pain and other symptoms. Women’s health deserves attention and care, but too often we see cases where doctors do not take women seriously.
Let’s find out the signs of medical gaslighting, how you can be a better advocate for yourself and your body, and why it’s time for a renewed focus on womens’ and girls’ healthcare.Â
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What is medical gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the victim—in this case often a female patient—is made to feel like they are going crazy or that their experiences are not real.
Medical gaslighting occurs when health professionals dismiss a patient’s symptoms, making them feel inferior, or as if their complaints are a product of psychological factors. Many women report being told essentially: It’s all in your head.
And I know, it sounds unfathomable that a doctor would be participating in any kind of behavior that harms a patient, but ultimately this is the result of systemic issues within the medical system itself. What happens is a major disconnect between patient and provider.
Watch: Signs You’re Being Gaslighted
When doctors downplay women’s health concerns
The biggest issue is that medical gaslighting harms patients and makes them less likely to pursue proper care, especially with sensitive issues involving reproductive and sexual health.
When doctors dismiss, downplay, or make it seem like a patient’s illness is only a result of stress, it delays proper treatments and a diagnosis of the underlying condition. Medical gaslighting isn’t a new concept, but more and more patients are beginning to voice their frustration about hearing all-too-common sentiments at their appointments. You might also be familiar with phrases like…
“This just happens with age.”
“It’s all due to stress.”
“Menstrual pain is normal—just part of being a woman!”
If you’ve heard any of these before, the conversation that ensued afterward probably continued to make you question your own reality. That your pain, discomfort, or other symptoms weren’t as bad as you thought, that they were normal, or that they were due to just a heightened sense of anxiety or stress.
Experts say that gaslighting is entrenched in power structures. It occurs most often in those who lack cultural, economic, and social influence to effectively call out the behavior as wrong (1).Â
Reproductive problems, chronic illness, and mental illness are among the most frequently dismissed by health providers, as they’re often complex, don’t always respond to medication, and treatment needs to be highly individualized.
Dealing with confusing hormone issues? Get to the bottom of symptoms!
Women’s pain is often dismissed or not believed
Women are more likely to be prescribed less pain medication than men after identical medical procedures (and controlling for size/weight differences) and exhibiting the same symptoms (2).Â
PCOS is a top cause of infertility in the country, and yet it can still take as long as two years with three different doctors to receive a diagnosis (3).Â
Endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and other reproductive health issues in women share similar statistics—all the while, patients experience pain, a reduced quality of life, and put their overall health at risk.
Read: PCOS Signs & Symptoms
How to spot signs of gaslighting
When you’re choosing a doctor, it’s important to have mutual respect for one another. This allows for a more trusting relationship and ultimately, better treatment outcomes. So when you’re working on building this relationship with a healthcare provider, there are a few red flags to look out for:
- They don’t look you in the eye, or don’t greet you directly at the beginning of your appointment.
- They’ve ever made you feel like your symptoms are in your head.
- You’re made to feel like you’re overreacting
- They’re not open to possible treatment alternatives, or you don’t feel comfortable asking about other explanations for your symptoms
What are examples of medical gaslighting?
If you’ve experienced having your symptoms not taken seriously, you’re not alone! Here’s a small part of my story.
When I was 28, I knew something was wrong with my health. My hair was falling out, my joints ached, I was gaining weight, and I could hardly focus on seeing my own patients. When I finally shared my symptoms with my doctor (and keep in mind I was also a physician at the time!) my concerns were brushed off. I was told the health issues I was facing were simply due to stress.
I pushed on, though, and I went to various specialists, including an endocrinologist, a rheumatologist for my painful joints, and a hair specialist. The last doctor I saw gave me another medication that was supposed to help with my hair falling out. But what I didn’t expect is that it would also drop my blood pressure dangerously low—so much that I would pass out. What happened next was a very, very close call while I was driving.
Anyone can be a victim of gaslighting Â
My story could very well have ended in tragedy, and this is just one instance where looking for an underlying cause to symptoms, and being willing to dig a little deeper can directly save lives.Â
A few prominent celebrities have also highlighted the struggle to get doctors to acknowledge their chronic pain in the case of endometriosis (4). Because so little is known about the pathology of endometriosis, the journey to healing is often long and complex.
Long-term effects of medical gaslighting for women
The negative effects of medical gaslighting aren’t limited to that one doctor’s visit—they can have real consequences that greatly impact your life.
You may have a delayed diagnosis. Many illnesses get worse over time without treatment—sometimes to a severe point. Considering that issues like endometriosis and PCOS often take years (and multiple providers) to reach a diagnosis, it’s important you’re taken seriously.
You’ll have more stress and anxiety. Health issues are stressful, but they’re even more so when you’re not able to get the help you need, or you’re feeling unheard when you do speak up.
You may be misdiagnosed. If a provider isn’t listening to you, they may miss important clues that lead to the right diagnosis.
Read more: How to Treat Endo Pain Naturally
Be a better advocate at your next appointment in 4 steps
As mentioned above, building a strong relationship with your provider is a process, but there are things you can do as a patient that help you take control of your experience.
Come prepared.
Have a good timeline of when your symptoms appeared, what you’ve already observed about your symptoms, and have clear questions that you are trying to get answered. Bring a small note pad and something to write with to your appointment. That way, you can write down a shorthand of important points to remember. We’ve all gotten home from a doctor’s visit and completely forgotten all the things we swore we’d remember!
Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Medical conversations can be confusing. Doctors use words and jargon that you’ve likely never heard before—and that’s ok! Ask your doctor to clarify what they mean if you didn’t understand a certain word or phrase. Also, don’t hesitate to ask about the benefits, risks, and alternative options to any interventions or medications suggested.
Be on the lookout for red flags.
Is your doctor someone who will review medical journals to find a connection with your symptoms, or do they dismiss you? Do they consider alternative treatments if you ask, or do they see this as undermining their expertise? If your gut feeling aligns with the latter, see the next tip.
Trust your instincts.
Making sure you have a good relationship with a doctor you trust is going to make all the difference in your quality of care. Just like any relationship, you may get a certain feeling that something isn’t right (or that it is!), even if you can’t quite put it into words. Don’t dismiss these feelings, as it’s likely something your brain noticed at some point, and is important to pay attention to.
What’s the most important issue in women’s health?
The bottom line is that gaslighting in the medical community is real and is a harmful problem. If you’ve experienced medical gaslighting, speak up and don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. It’s important for both patients and providers to build trust and respect for one another so that you receive the right treatment plan. You can also advocate for quality care by asking questions, coming prepared to your doctor’s visits, and being aware of potential red flags.
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